Just to summarise where we are with our scrutiny of your posts.
- A door shoots to local stardom going so far as to have its picture in the press with prominent local businessmen. The door then burns out, fading away. But not a single trace of the rockstar door remains, anywhere? No explanation of Steve Pat’s involvement other than a possible insatiable lust for doors has been put forward?
- Your version of events of the handbags on Botchergate came directly from a player. A version of events that subsequently proved to have nothing whatsoever in common with the facts as released by the club and on video?
- Tomas Holy failed a test. Medical tests are now off the table but Tomas’s ability to solve the Sun crossword remains an option? How the conversation with the coaching staff was initiated, where, when and why they would reveal coaching results to a random no mark remains a mystery.
- A similar Ancient Aliens fog of mystery surrounds players showing their phones to you. Where, when, why, how are all magnificently missing from the story, but that they used a joke you have cracked on here several times is centre front. Spooky huh?
- For the last 2 you’ve failed to explain why people who are trained to deflect unwanted attention from hangers on made an exception for you. Charm, wit and sexual allure are a given, but still, you are at work all day. A cold Cumbrian evening and they want to stand in the rain and talk? Or wasn’t it in the evening, in the street, raining?
I interrogate suspects in fraud cases. The reasons they give for why 200 grand of EU money ended up in their bank accounts is so much more mundane than the sci-fi fantasy stuff you come up with. The press sprinting to get pictures of doors, CUFC directors fighting to get in shot with the star of the show, genius Frank, genius. Write a book, you’ve found your calling. But a serious question. When I’m making assumptions about the reliability of your posts in the future, what should I assume? Tricky one, Frank, tricky.